In the quiet of her home, amidst family shifts, she confided in the weight of her mother's recent struggle—days without liquids, the haunting specter of dehydration, and a journey to the emergency room.
"My mom has dementia," she shared.
She said she found solace in sharing jokes with her sister, letting laughter cleanse their burdens, but her gratitude was tender. She reflected on how her resilience was born from moments of shared mirth amid life's trying chapters. "Don't forget to laugh," she urged.
She wanted the poem to serve as a bridge connecting her path to others, a gentle reminder that humor weaves a powerful remedy in pain and fear of change.
Certified Listener Poet D’ete Blackshire
Community Caregivers
December 2023
High Notes
My heart finds sanctuary in my hands and flutters a few notes.
Palms rest tenderly above it while I sigh a long note.
Without instructions, a talk with Mom is a heavy lift now.
Things might seem clearer and lighter if we had a book of notes.
My husband and daughter flew across the pond, leaving me alone.
I need a getaway, too; I could leave them a note.
The comfort zone is the in-between, neither here nor there.
There’s an oasis of respite in a holding family, she gratefully notes.
We’re tossing memories of Mom to each other and laughing loudly.
We know - some smiles belong to the future when we miss her notes.
As hard as things can be, we maintain the winding paths to mirth.
And with tear-speckled cheeks, vow to flower the long goodbye with high notes.
“I always believe, no matter what the doctor says, that I will be cured,” she says as her sister sits next to her.
“I wonder if these medical professionals, in caring for people who face such insurmountable odds, walk around all the time carrying this weight I’m hauling now.”
He had been trying to cope with the grief ever since and was on a quest for soul-searching and meaning-making.
She spoke about the ways this traumatic event shaped who she is today: a person with an “unshakeable peace” born of deep faith,
She wanted to help people feel comfortable and transform the shame around colon issues. "I want to talk about things that matter, the things people don't want to discuss.
When we met, she was coming off a stretch of nine 14-hour shifts. She was tired but in good spirits.
She reflected on how her resilience was born from moments of shared mirth amid life's trying chapters.
“Life is complex and dirty, but digging in is important to me,” she said. “Maybe if more of us understood history, we could understand each other better.”
We are expected to research, contribute to scholarship, earn grants – all on our own time.
We are expected to research, contribute to scholarship, earn grants – all on our own time.
Every day, I try to see through the patient lens, and I ask: what can we do to change this broken system?
She was very proud of her daughter and has hopes for “a bright future that’s as pain free as possible”
“I’m trying to focus on doing little things to make people feel better during everything that’s going on in the world,” she told me.
“It’s hard to see others struggle,” she said. “How can I help with their struggle without struggling myself?”
"I'd tell her it's OK to be loud...it's OK to challenge and to bring all of you into these spaces where no one looks like you..."
“I'm continuously questioning: did I do it right?" she said. "I’ve always done a good amount of second-guessing, but I’m re-learning how to show up differently.”
“It’s weird,” she said. “This is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, but it doesn’t feel like it.”
"It changed me; It changed the way I look at life," said this woman about her profound experience during her pregnancy.
“It’s been more challenging than normal lately,” she said. “I’m only one person. It's a struggle for me to say no, but I can’t do everything that’s being asked of me right now.”
"I've been processing how to make the most of the small amount of life we have to live," said this physician.