This patient’s calm confidence radiates in front of me. “I always believe, no matter what the doctor says, that I will be cured,” she says as her sister sits next to her.
This patient received a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer nearly five years ago, but she says it only started showing intense symptoms within the past six months. Her faith in God and in nature give her strength in this time.
She expresses how she believes in natural remedies as critical to her success, telling me how God gives us natural things to help us heal our bodies. She mentions physical aides like teas and herbs, and medicines of the mind like prayer and mental imaging.
While she is still receiving chemotherapy today, she recounts stories of others in groups she has attended, who, relying on these remedies alone, were able to stay healthy. When she speaks about her motivation to be healthy, she speaks about her four-year-old granddaughter, a sweet and intelligent girl who is deeply connected to her family. “She can feel your energy,” she says as her sister nods in agreement.
Rooted
————
I reach into
The garden
with God.
Pull the leaves,
Steeped and
Tinctured.
Rest in my
Mind,
The best healer.
My breath catches more
Now.
But the Lord
Plants His breath
In me.
Shows how
To be an example in
Groups in a
Garden bed.
Some testify
In palmed prayer hands
Of the sun.
The roots,
They are unseen,
But they give me
Connection.
A granddaughter,
My stem,
Sweet and intelligent.
Even at four,
She knows me
Without mention.
She will rise
From the soil
I set for her.
“I always believe, no matter what the doctor says, that I will be cured,” she says as her sister sits next to her.
“I wonder if these medical professionals, in caring for people who face such insurmountable odds, walk around all the time carrying this weight I’m hauling now.”
He had been trying to cope with the grief ever since and was on a quest for soul-searching and meaning-making.
She spoke about the ways this traumatic event shaped who she is today: a person with an “unshakeable peace” born of deep faith,
She wanted to help people feel comfortable and transform the shame around colon issues. "I want to talk about things that matter, the things people don't want to discuss.
When we met, she was coming off a stretch of nine 14-hour shifts. She was tired but in good spirits.
She reflected on how her resilience was born from moments of shared mirth amid life's trying chapters.
“Life is complex and dirty, but digging in is important to me,” she said. “Maybe if more of us understood history, we could understand each other better.”
We are expected to research, contribute to scholarship, earn grants – all on our own time.
We are expected to research, contribute to scholarship, earn grants – all on our own time.
Every day, I try to see through the patient lens, and I ask: what can we do to change this broken system?
She was very proud of her daughter and has hopes for “a bright future that’s as pain free as possible”
“I’m trying to focus on doing little things to make people feel better during everything that’s going on in the world,” she told me.
“It’s hard to see others struggle,” she said. “How can I help with their struggle without struggling myself?”
"I'd tell her it's OK to be loud...it's OK to challenge and to bring all of you into these spaces where no one looks like you..."
“I'm continuously questioning: did I do it right?" she said. "I’ve always done a good amount of second-guessing, but I’m re-learning how to show up differently.”
“It’s weird,” she said. “This is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, but it doesn’t feel like it.”
"It changed me; It changed the way I look at life," said this woman about her profound experience during her pregnancy.
“It’s been more challenging than normal lately,” she said. “I’m only one person. It's a struggle for me to say no, but I can’t do everything that’s being asked of me right now.”
"I've been processing how to make the most of the small amount of life we have to live," said this physician.