“Mirror Talk” a poem by Gray Davidson Carroll
Listen to this poem here:
“The fact of my life is a miracle,” she told me.
Living with multiple chronic illnesses, this patient spoke to me of her journey with alopecia. Of how, in witnessing her body transformed by the condition, she continues to move at once through grief and reclamation.
She spoke to me of her mother, who died from cancer in her early adulthood, and who lost her hair during treatment. She shared with me the moment when she first realized her own hair was thinning, and how treatments she received to address other conditions exacerbated her hair loss.
“Alopecia is a process,” she told me. “Grief is a process. Identity is a process. I want these poems to leave me with a feeling of grace and gratitude for the journey.”
Gray Davidson Carroll, Listener Poet
Listener Poet Session
February 2025
Mirror Talk
Alopecia says,
it’s time to get real girl.
Alopecia says,
you don’t get to choose
fight, flight, or freeze.
Alopecia rips off the option
to fly or to run.
Alopecia says
you’re gonna stand there
and fight, or shrivel up
in the spot where
you’re standing.
Alopecia says ya no,
you don’t get to hide.
You’re gonna face
the world with your face.
Says you’re there
for the world to see.
And Alopecia, I am here
for the world. I am here
for this life. This is who I am
in this moment and I accept myself
fully as the being that I bring.
I am fat and I am bald
and the world is still gonna accept me.
Love me or hate me, I occupy space,
I occupy energy and I can fill a room
with my sunshine.
Alopecia, I am not apologizing
for who I am. People can choose
not to indulge me, not to like me,
or be with me, But I am meant for this world.
Alopecia, I am going to continue
to put my dent in this world.
Alopecia, I am here for the heart of things.
I want every last drop of this life.
I want everything while I’m here.
I am going to hold what I love in my hands
even as it runs away.
