She’d been in a physician leadership role with the VA for seven years.
Over her tenure, she’d never seen the system rise as one team like this. “There’s so much we don’t know about COVID. But our teams are stepping up in ways I could never have imagined.”
“I am incredibly proud of our ingenuity, our assets, and our excitement about learning together. I am proud of how our innovation team has made PPE using a 3-D printer to ensure we can meet our needs across the country because the implications of COVID on healthcare are not the same everywhere. I’m proud of our research teams and their willingness to collaborate with each other. I’m proud of how we’ve hit the ground running as one team (because it’s not our natural behavior) and that we’re making our assets and resources more broadly available to the public as well,” she said.
“There is still so much we don’t know. But the flipside of not knowing is that there’s so much we can learn.”
Listener Poet Jenny Hegland
Veterans' Affairs Center for Development & Civic Engagement
August 2020
The Flip Side
It’s scary how much we didn’t know
in the beginning…it’s scary how much we
still don’t know today.
But the flip side
of not knowing
is that we have so much to learn.
In the learning, there is courage
to debunk the myth of a monolith
that healthcare is the same everywhere.
In the learning, there is awe
in witnessing the ingenuity of our innovations team
printing PPE (using 3D) to supplement our needs.
In the learning, there is pride
that we’ve made the latest and greatest information
available to those on the front lines, in a useful way.
In the learning, there is excitement
in experiencing our system learning together (maybe,
for the first time ever) and rising together as one.
In the learning, there is joy
that the flip side of not knowing
is a surprising abundance of shared growing.
“I always believe, no matter what the doctor says, that I will be cured,” she says as her sister sits next to her.
“I wonder if these medical professionals, in caring for people who face such insurmountable odds, walk around all the time carrying this weight I’m hauling now.”
He had been trying to cope with the grief ever since and was on a quest for soul-searching and meaning-making.
She spoke about the ways this traumatic event shaped who she is today: a person with an “unshakeable peace” born of deep faith,
She wanted to help people feel comfortable and transform the shame around colon issues. "I want to talk about things that matter, the things people don't want to discuss.
When we met, she was coming off a stretch of nine 14-hour shifts. She was tired but in good spirits.
She reflected on how her resilience was born from moments of shared mirth amid life's trying chapters.
“Life is complex and dirty, but digging in is important to me,” she said. “Maybe if more of us understood history, we could understand each other better.”
We are expected to research, contribute to scholarship, earn grants – all on our own time.
We are expected to research, contribute to scholarship, earn grants – all on our own time.
Every day, I try to see through the patient lens, and I ask: what can we do to change this broken system?
She was very proud of her daughter and has hopes for “a bright future that’s as pain free as possible”
“I’m trying to focus on doing little things to make people feel better during everything that’s going on in the world,” she told me.
“It’s hard to see others struggle,” she said. “How can I help with their struggle without struggling myself?”
"I'd tell her it's OK to be loud...it's OK to challenge and to bring all of you into these spaces where no one looks like you..."
“I'm continuously questioning: did I do it right?" she said. "I’ve always done a good amount of second-guessing, but I’m re-learning how to show up differently.”
“It’s weird,” she said. “This is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, but it doesn’t feel like it.”
"It changed me; It changed the way I look at life," said this woman about her profound experience during her pregnancy.
“It’s been more challenging than normal lately,” she said. “I’m only one person. It's a struggle for me to say no, but I can’t do everything that’s being asked of me right now.”
"I've been processing how to make the most of the small amount of life we have to live," said this physician.