“I feel like this journey is unfolding before me,” he said.
He had been reflecting on his life journey and was curious and excited about where it would lead him.
He told me he felt connected to Buddhism and Eastern philosophies, and had been working on practicing presence, kindness, compassion, and empathy, though he acknowledged it wasn’t easy.
He shared about some of the milestones along the way, including being part of a touring band. “Before I was part of the band, I was in a dark place, but this was my first experience of a whole,” he said. Spending time with his grandfather before he died left him pondering big questions like “what is a sense of self?”
These days he was passionate about the mountains, being with nature, and making a meaningful contribution to the field of science as a research assistant (he felt grateful for a boss who made that possible). “Everything is interconnected,” he said. “It’s all an expression of the universe. How we see and understand it is a matter of perspective.”
Listener Poet Jenny Hegland
University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus
July 2021
Who’s Noticing?
There's a beautiful journey unfolding
nature uncovering itself
There's presence, absence
ease and disease
There's space and sound inside music
grace existing in the gruesome
There's kindness, empathy, compassion
the illusion of separation
There are atoms, molecules, cells
tissues, organs, bodies
making up bigger bodies
There are synchronicities
Chronos and Kairos
There are questions, like
who am I and who are we?
There are dreams set only in mountains
There are grains of sand, black holes
wolf dogs, exceptional bosses
There's visual snow and 7-year cycles
suffering and science
There's waking up to the unfolding
inside and in between everything--
There is noticing.
“I always believe, no matter what the doctor says, that I will be cured,” she says as her sister sits next to her.
“I wonder if these medical professionals, in caring for people who face such insurmountable odds, walk around all the time carrying this weight I’m hauling now.”
He had been trying to cope with the grief ever since and was on a quest for soul-searching and meaning-making.
She spoke about the ways this traumatic event shaped who she is today: a person with an “unshakeable peace” born of deep faith,
She wanted to help people feel comfortable and transform the shame around colon issues. "I want to talk about things that matter, the things people don't want to discuss.
When we met, she was coming off a stretch of nine 14-hour shifts. She was tired but in good spirits.
She reflected on how her resilience was born from moments of shared mirth amid life's trying chapters.
“Life is complex and dirty, but digging in is important to me,” she said. “Maybe if more of us understood history, we could understand each other better.”
We are expected to research, contribute to scholarship, earn grants – all on our own time.
We are expected to research, contribute to scholarship, earn grants – all on our own time.
Every day, I try to see through the patient lens, and I ask: what can we do to change this broken system?
She was very proud of her daughter and has hopes for “a bright future that’s as pain free as possible”
“I’m trying to focus on doing little things to make people feel better during everything that’s going on in the world,” she told me.
“It’s hard to see others struggle,” she said. “How can I help with their struggle without struggling myself?”
"I'd tell her it's OK to be loud...it's OK to challenge and to bring all of you into these spaces where no one looks like you..."
“I'm continuously questioning: did I do it right?" she said. "I’ve always done a good amount of second-guessing, but I’m re-learning how to show up differently.”
“It’s weird,” she said. “This is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, but it doesn’t feel like it.”
"It changed me; It changed the way I look at life," said this woman about her profound experience during her pregnancy.
“It’s been more challenging than normal lately,” she said. “I’m only one person. It's a struggle for me to say no, but I can’t do everything that’s being asked of me right now.”
"I've been processing how to make the most of the small amount of life we have to live," said this physician.